The Hollando Diet

Matthew has, really, been too modest. Those of us who have seen him recently know that he’s allowed his hair to grow well beyond its previous bounds, and so he has lost sufficient weight to drop to the low 150s even with this new baggage. Looks good, though.

While I wish I could report my own foray into the 150s, I can’t. 160 has proven a particularly persistent barrier, to the point where I even did a little side check to ensure that my scale was, in fact, capable of registering lower weights. Much to my disappointment, it can. This morning I checked in at 161, which certainly isn’t bad in the grand scheme of things. And yesterday I bought pants with a 31 inch waist, and that felt pretty good too. I’ve also donated most of my old belts, along with an assortment of pants and shirts to a Red Cross clothing drive. Alia iacta est.

Actually, I’m surprised I’ve managed to stay in the low 160s, since the last month has featured several weddings, a college graduation and lots of dining out at various conferences, fundraisers, birthdays and general celebrations.

I should probably correct Matthew’s math, however. According to this site, a standard large single-person package of M&Ms has 253 calories. Based on my cardio workout yesterday, I can burn that off in 18 minutes of torture. Of course, the real benefit is to skip the cupcake and hit the gym.

I still maintain that the workout bottleneck for most people is not the workout itself, but all the accompanying logistics. The workout is fun. The wasted half hour getting to and from the gym is not.

Memorial Day has come, and with it the annual health-club advertising blitz tied to summer beach season. For those inclined to such torment, it sounds like there are some good membership deals to be had. Personally, I’d rather just forego the cupcake than torture myself for an hour to work off the caloric equivalent of a handful of M&Ms. But to each his own.

And as America, far and wide, casts an anxious glance towards its collective midsection, perhaps it would be a good time for updates from our intrepid crew of guinea pigs, er, Hollando Dieters. After all, our first anniversary is nearly upon us, is it not?

I’ll go first: this morning, my scale read 153 pounds. That’s up slightly from the recent low of 152, due no doubt to a weekend of extravagant debauchery.