Piggy Wiggy
What have I done? Only one week ago, I was flirting with a new low at 159 lbs. Then came Christmas. What better way to celebrate the Son of God and His teachings than to indulge in TV-supported sloth, turkey-fueled gluttony, and a little avarice in the form of gifts? If the cable TV signal wavers, then we have wrath, and of course, upon loosening the top pants button after dinner, we feel a perverse pride in expanded paunches. On the day we celebrate Christ’s birth, I manage to exhibit five of the seven deadly sins…
166 lbs. The reading on the scale this morning hits me like a verdict more than a measurement. Yes, I am guilty as charged. Now for sentencing… I sentence myself to one year’s hard labor. Jogging, exercise every other day, and… oh, what am I saying? We know better, don’t we? I’ll just have to take it one day at a time.
Cheerios, banana slices, and skim milk are for breakfast today, and I plan on only a turkey sandwich for dinner. Lunch… well, whatever… portion control will be my only restraint.
For the year, I consider myself to have dropped from 185 lbs. in December of 2005 to 159 lbs. in December of 2006. I stagger my measuring period due to the skewing effect of the holidays. The goal for 2007 : I want to weigh 145 lbs. by May 1st of this year. Then I want to weigh more as a result of developing muscle mass.
Does anyone wish to predict my chances of success? I invite the requisite mockery, citation of previous lofty goals left unreached, etc.