The Hollando Diet

I blame the fiber. I am now back to where I started. I am at 157 lbs. Frankly, that misleading intraday weight reading likely understates my true blubber. I mowed the front and back yards, and I think that 157 lbs. reading is the result of water loss. So I’m likely even higher.

My theory as to why I allowed for so many lost days and lost opportunities… the M&Ms, Snickers, and Three Muskateers at the Rough Creek Lodge did not help my cause, nor did the Lodge’s multi-course dinner, the sinfully good breakfast buffet, or the take-home lunch we received upon check-out. The Rough Creek Lodge is simply too good at what it does. With all that delicious food available, who can resist? So I blame the fiber.

What fiber do I blame? Well, I bought a high-fiber cereal on the advice of my weight-lifting buddy. Chris, a remarkably effective body builder, swears by this snack. He is convinced that it “cleans out” your body and staves off hunger pains, but I think all it does is fill you up and stay with you. Rather than blame Rough Creek’s delicious cuisine, I blame the fiber. After all, my upward weight slide began before getting away to that retreat. The fiber did it to me. Accursed fiber! I denounce you! I renounce you! I pull out your cereal box and trounce you!

I should set a new goal. Weight loss will prove impossible when I travel next weekend, especially with so much good cooking promised by my hostess. I should at least reach the point at which I last posted a blog. Thus I only have until Friday morning to be at least back to 153 lbs. Then I fly to New Haven. Since 145 lbs. is just too difficult to reach by Friday, I’ll have to save that target for when I return. I’ll have from April 9th until April 19th to lose that weight. Ridiculous? No… just a challenge I’ll have to accept. I must complete Phase I! How else can I hope to begin Phase II?

I awoke only to discover an unexpectedl surprise… I weighed 153 lbs., although most if not all of that drop was due to water loss from jogging. Between rehydration, an indulgent morning meal at the Dallas Country Club, and perfect lunch at Dakota’s Steakhouse, I’m sure tomorrow morning will be the occassion of a small spike in the weight chart. Yet I approach the goal… 145 lbs. by April 6, 2007.

At least my lunchtime indulgences were soup and fish. I’ve done worse, as any waiter at Mory’s would know. Now this day’s only remaining challenge is to exercise after volunteering as a cook at the St. Michael’s Lenten Dinner. Hopefully I can hit the YMCA before it closes. Something must be done to counteract my recently revived German beer belly!

So… time has passed. Paths have diverged. From San Francisco, to New York, to Washington, D.C., to Dallas, the Diet Bloggers find themselves flung far across the country. How have the intrepid Bloggers fared?

In December of 2005, I weighed about 185 pounds. By January, I had dropped ten pounds due to illness. By May, I had dropped ten more pounds due to something approximating discipline. For the better part of a year, I hovered at 165 pounds. Then another great winter drop left me at about 157 lbs. by February at Banquet.

I am visiting a wonderful young lady in New Haven this Easter. The goal in the next ten days… to drop twelve pounds to 145 lbs. Yes, this goal is ridiculous. But then again I need something toward which to work. Then, after a weekend of fun, the real journey begins.

Phase One was to complete my mass loss plan. Phase One will be complete when I reach 145 lbs. Phase Two is toning. I need to suffer the sit ups, crunches, medicine ball work, and other exerises that ought turn my German beer belly into something better defined. Phase Three is mass addition. I’ll borrow my bodybuilding buddy’s strange powdery mix called “American Whey” to add muscle mass to the upper torso and arms. Phase Four is stabilization. I need to keep whatever I develop in decent shape.

I am curious (a) how long it will take to reach Phase Two, and (b) how it will take to complete Phase Two. I imagine I can drop the last ten to twelve pounds far more quickly than the casual observer would expect. The question is whether I can tone effectively before the end of the year, or ideally before the peak of summer. Does anyone have a bet to place? I solicit insights from friends. How long does it take to firm up a belly not accustomed to shape of any sort?